School Counselors and Therapists
Children often experience bullying as a form of trauma. If you treat it as you would other childhood traumas, you won't go far wrong.
No Bully® provides these guidelines for working with targets of bullying. In parallel with individual counseling, you will also need to address the peer dynamics in which the target of bullying finds himself or herself.
Listen to their
story and earn their trust. Targets of bullying are under enormous
pressure from their peers not to tell. They have been silenced and they
need to speak. They often feel betrayed, especially by the adults in their
life. Children may be angrier with their teachers and parents than those
who have bullied them.
Psycho-education. Tell them about the typical effects of bullying, such as headaches, stomachaches, not wanting to go to school, anxiety and depression. Reassure them that their response is normal and understandable.
Students who are bullied commonly internalize negative beliefs e.g. that they are unlikable, that no-one likes them, that there is something wrong with them or that they deserve to be bullied. Uncover any distorted beliefs and help them to understand that whatever they did (and some students are provocative targets) they did not deserve to be treated like that, because every child has the right to feel safe.
Resource your child client. Ask them the names of the people with whom they feel safe and ask where they feel safe. Encourage them to build on the friendships they have. Develop a plan about what they can do if they are targeted in the future.
Assess whether your client is still exposed to bullying. If so, you as therapist need to develop a plan with the parents as to how to intervene at school on the child's behalf. This needs to be done with care. While some instances of bullying amount to child abuse and need urgently to be reported, it often makes it worse to go in with guns blazing. Many adult interventions have only made it worse for the child. Ultimately, every school needs to develop and implement its own anti-bullying policy and program.
Work to build the resilience of your client and help them develop an identity distinct from the powerlessness they may have felt. Assist them and their parents in finding other groups or activities where they feel included and valued.
No Bully runs workshops for school counselors and therapists on how to respond when you are referred a student who is engaged in bullying. We show you how to work with individuals who are bullying or being the target. We train you in the No Blame approach, a powerful systemic intervention developed in England to unlock bullying dynamics among groups of students. Participants receive an outline of how to mobilize a whole school response to bullying.
If you would like to be on our mailing list for the next training or would like to schedule an in-service workshop for your organization, contact us.